Tommy's little sister Amanda is 1 year, 5 months and 13 days old today -- the same age as Tommy was on the day he died.
The weeks and months leading up to this day have left us apprehensive. We've had the feeling that we're spending our last moments with Amanda -- as though she would be taken away today. Although it doesn't make much sense, that is what we feel.
Today is also special because it marks the beginning of a venture into the unknown. Until now, we've been fairly confident parents because we've "seen it all before". But that era has come to an end. From this day forward, we are like first time parents again. It's a strange feeling.
It's also a bit mind bending to try to come to grips with the age inversion. Tommy will always be the first child, but is he still the oldest? I'm not sure how to think about that. In our minds, Tommy keeps aging, so he will always be our oldest child. But I've read that in other families, the surviving child starts to refer to the child-that-passed as their "little brother/sister" as they get older. That makes perfect sense since children probably think "age" just means size.
Like all parents, we compare our children. Not in a better-vs-worse way, but in terms of milestones, likes, and personality. For example, both Tommy and Amanda are very active, but over the last few months we've noticed that Amanda has slowed down and taken an interest in the details of life. Seeing the differences is a source of amusement and amazement because, despite growing up in as-close-as-possible-to identical situations, they are different. We will miss being able to compare them.
Papai e Mamae
Today is also special because it marks the beginning of a venture into the unknown. Until now, we've been fairly confident parents because we've "seen it all before". But that era has come to an end. From this day forward, we are like first time parents again. It's a strange feeling.
It's also a bit mind bending to try to come to grips with the age inversion. Tommy will always be the first child, but is he still the oldest? I'm not sure how to think about that. In our minds, Tommy keeps aging, so he will always be our oldest child. But I've read that in other families, the surviving child starts to refer to the child-that-passed as their "little brother/sister" as they get older. That makes perfect sense since children probably think "age" just means size.
Like all parents, we compare our children. Not in a better-vs-worse way, but in terms of milestones, likes, and personality. For example, both Tommy and Amanda are very active, but over the last few months we've noticed that Amanda has slowed down and taken an interest in the details of life. Seeing the differences is a source of amusement and amazement because, despite growing up in as-close-as-possible-to identical situations, they are different. We will miss being able to compare them.
Papai e Mamae
